5 golden years

my thoughts

  • memories

    “Recollections May Vary,” brilliantly coined by the late Queen Elizabeth II, in reference to disclosures by royal family members, is such a perfect descriptive phrase, I have it emblazoned on a t-shirt.  Similar to varied accounts of people witnessing the same accident scene, each member of a family unit stores memories of past events, influenced…

  • treatment of family members

    It is important to set the stage regarding Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) with narcissistic components. Caring for Mother the last five years of her life, I have previously covered: living in borderland, hoarding, addictive families, all about siblings, crazy making, personal tips towards recovery. Here is a sample. Causing me much confusion and distress,…

  • sabotaging happy times

    I would be remiss if I did not share happy memories from growing up. Although Mother often tried to dampen or subvert pleasurable times, I did not, and have not let her crowd out good remembrances. The happy times came about mostly due to Father’s love of celebrations, which Mother joined in and indeed reveled…

  • all about siblings

    Sibling relationships can last longer and be more supportive than any other connection. That is, of course, if the adults are able to move past childhood relationships and perceptions, recognize, interact and celebrate the adult each sibling has become. Unfortunately, releasing childhood conflicts and animosities that occurred among siblings is difficult in most families, and…

  • the borderline mother: clinical aspects

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————————————— “The first thing we must understand in life is our mother.” The great paradigm shift towards understanding Mother…

  • a little breather

    Pausing to briefly review my posts thus far, I see a person could be overwhelmed, discouraged, or greatly saddened by what I have shared about my life. I want to reiterate, my intent is not to promulgate victimhood. In my other blog, I share my light-hearted approach to everyday living, (CJ’s World).   My hope…

  • living in borderland: clearing the haze

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————————————— “Understanding our mother is the first step to understanding ourselves.” I do believe it is important to try…

  • living in borderland: effects on children

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————————— “We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.“You must be,” said…

  • living in borderland: crazy making

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————— My therapist introduced me to the term, “Crazy Making,” a psychological concept that perfectly described the world in…

  • living in borderland: helping yourself

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder, covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] “Be gone.. you have no power here.” Visiting the Land of Oz, we hear these words from the good…