5 golden years

my thoughts

  • living backwards

    While plowing forwards, I came across the concept of “living backwards” (C.A. Lawson, 2000). Pausing to think this through, I am reminded of an analogy I often share with my clients, “Emotional healing is just like physical healing from a deep wound. Scabs form, fall off, smaller scabs form and fall off, the process continuing…

  • more manipulations

    With some time elapsed, my mind clearer, I now wonder at my responses to some of the following. I will say that, just as I had vowed to not let bitterness overtake me when disentangling from an unhealthy relationship; so too, I vowed not to become bitter, or at least not stay bitter towards Mother…

  • thickening fog

    As it drew closer to the end of Mother’s life, the effects of her major TIA episode, along with continuing bouts with lack of oxygen became more apparent. [transient ischaemic attack (tia), occurs when there is a disruption in the blood supply to a part of the brain, resulting in a temporary period of symptoms…

  • the narcissist: exorcising from your life

    Escaping and removing oneself from the narcissist is extremely difficult. While I have shared recommendations from clinical specialists; what propelled me to finally understand, become free and separate myself from Mother and others, is found in HG Tudor’s, Exorcism: Purging the Narcissist From Heart and Soul (2016), as well as his other books and youtubes…

  • narcissism: in real life

    As with most issues in life, I do not totally agree with any one person or philosophy, but I do find it useful to gather information and insights from a variety of sources. I began looking into people with extreme selfish behaviors, actions I could not understand, after noticing the behavior of a royal family…

  • the borderline mother: clinical aspects

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————————————— “The first thing we must understand in life is our mother.” The great paradigm shift towards understanding Mother…

  • living in borderland: clearing the haze

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————————————— “Understanding our mother is the first step to understanding ourselves.” I do believe it is important to try…

  • living in borderland: effects on children

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————————— “We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.“You must be,” said…

  • living in borderland: crazy making

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————— My therapist introduced me to the term, “Crazy Making,” a psychological concept that perfectly described the world in…

  • living in borderland: helping yourself

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder, covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] “Be gone.. you have no power here.” Visiting the Land of Oz, we hear these words from the good…