5 golden years

my thoughts

  • living backwards

    While plowing forwards, I came across the concept of “living backwards” (C.A. Lawson, 2000). Pausing to think this through, I am reminded of an analogy I often share with my clients, “Emotional healing is just like physical healing from a deep wound. Scabs form, fall off, smaller scabs form and fall off, the process continuing…

  • the narcissist: exorcising from your life

    Escaping and removing oneself from the narcissist is extremely difficult. While I have shared recommendations from clinical specialists; what propelled me to finally understand, become free and separate myself from Mother and others, is found in HG Tudor’s, Exorcism: Purging the Narcissist From Heart and Soul (2016), as well as his other books and youtubes…

  • narcissism: the continuum

    We all lie somewhere along the pathway from Empath, to Normal, to Narcissist; including every conceivable gradient in between each nodule. I am starting this exposé with narcissism, working my way backwards to empath. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, ranging from displaying an occasional narcissistic trait, all the way to diagnosable pathology. Keep in mind,…

  • forgiveness, part 2

    A Mark Twain quote to ponder, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” What Forgiveness is NOT– Forgetting: if you forget the wrongdoing, you might find yourself in the same situation again – Condoning: the wrongdoing is not okay, don’t accept it – Denying or Minimizing: you…

  • sabotaging happy times

    I would be remiss if I did not share happy memories from growing up. Although Mother often tried to dampen or subvert pleasurable times, I did not, and have not let her crowd out good remembrances. The happy times came about mostly due to Father’s love of celebrations, which Mother joined in and indeed reveled…

  • all about siblings

    Sibling relationships can last longer and be more supportive than any other connection. That is, of course, if the adults are able to move past childhood relationships and perceptions, recognize, interact and celebrate the adult each sibling has become. Unfortunately, releasing childhood conflicts and animosities that occurred among siblings is difficult in most families, and…

  • the borderline mother: clinical aspects

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————————————— “The first thing we must understand in life is our mother.” The great paradigm shift towards understanding Mother…

  • living in borderland: clearing the haze

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————————————— “Understanding our mother is the first step to understanding ourselves.” I do believe it is important to try…

  • living in borderland: crazy making

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder; covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] ————— My therapist introduced me to the term, “Crazy Making,” a psychological concept that perfectly described the world in…

  • living in borderland: helping yourself

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder, covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] “Be gone.. you have no power here.” Visiting the Land of Oz, we hear these words from the good…