5 golden years

my thoughts

My Thoughts

My sincere thanks for your support as I continue sharing in the hopes that others will benefit from my experiences and insights.

[Covered: Accepting Truth; Finding Humor; In the Beginning; Anatomy of a Hoarder; Disassociating; The Why of It; Grieving; Aspects of Addictive Families; Borderline Personality Disorder; Narcissism; Mother’s Backstory; Living in Borderland; Crazymaking; Siblings; Birth Order; Treatment of Family Members; Running Interference; Religiosity; Spiritual Journey; Living Backwards; End of Life Planning; Sorrow and Hope; Eulogy; Epilogue]

  • forgiveness, part 2

    A Mark Twain quote to ponder, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” What Forgiveness is NOT– Forgetting: if you forget the wrongdoing, you might find yourself in the same situation again – Condoning: the wrongdoing is not okay, don’t accept it – Denying or Minimizing: you Read more

  • when forgiveness is not enough, part 1

    As the old adage says, “Words are cheap,” and never more so than when you hear, “I forgive you,” with no change in the person’s behavior. Perhaps this comes from other words ingrained in our culture, in the words of Jesus,  “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us,” which Read more

  • memories

    “Recollections May Vary,” brilliantly coined by the late Queen Elizabeth II, in reference to disclosures by royal family members, is such a perfect descriptive phrase, I have it emblazoned on a t-shirt.  Similar to varied accounts of people witnessing the same accident scene, each member of a family unit stores memories of past events, influenced Read more

  • treatment of family members

    It is important to set the stage regarding Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) with narcissistic components. Caring for Mother the last five years of her life, I have previously covered: living in borderland, hoarding, addictive families, all about siblings, crazy making, personal tips towards recovery. Here is a sample. Causing me much confusion and distress, Read more

  • sabotaging happy times

    I would be remiss if I did not share happy memories from growing up. Although Mother often tried to dampen or subvert pleasurable times, I did not, and have not let her crowd out good remembrances. The happy times came about mostly due to Father’s love of celebrations, which Mother joined in and indeed reveled Read more

  • all about siblings

    Sibling relationships can last longer and be more supportive than any other connection. That is, of course, if the adults are able to move past childhood relationships and perceptions, recognize, interact and celebrate the adult each sibling has become. Unfortunately, releasing childhood conflicts and animosities that occurred among siblings is difficult in most families, and Read more