5 golden years

my thoughts

  • living in borderland: helping yourself

    [This is part of the series, “Living in Borderland,” in which I describe my experiences living with my Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder, covering psychological criteria, manifestations, effects on children, family and sibling reactions, and finding help.] “Be gone.. you have no power here.” Visiting the Land of Oz, we hear these words from the good…

  • living in borderland

    I am working on a comprehensive expose of understanding and living with my Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Mother. The multipart series is coming soon. I thank you for your patience and support. And, I have to tell you, reviewing and re-living my experiences to share with you, while emotionally provoking and bringing grief to work…

  • mother’s backstory

    As I watched Mother suffer multiple hospitalizations due to congestive heart failure, pulmonary fibrosis and stenosis, resulting in stroke-like brain injuries, she shared details of her life which I had never known before. Growing up during the depression, Mother’s childhood was one of depravity in multiple ways. Her family was very poor, her father being…

  • clinical aspects of addictive families

    [This is for those interested in the psychological underpinnings of families living with addiction; focusing on abusive relationships, and on etiology and treatments, drawing on my personal and professional experiences as a family therapist, along with current research.] “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”(Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy)…

  • dissociating

    Where do I start? Throughout my childhood I was just surviving, not attempting to make sense of what Mother was doing or why was she doing it. With all of the physical and verbal abuse, I quickly learned to distance myself, dissociate, although I was not able to label it as such until as an…

  • hoarding: a psychological perspective

    First, let me say, I found it very sad and pathetic; her whole life, Mother stressed over getting organized, but accepted no help, nor self-reflecting as to the causes. Several years before my moving to care for Mother, I attended a week-end seminar to gain more understanding, finding hoarding is one of the most difficult…

  • lifesavers

    In the hopes that you may benefit from my experiences as you care for others aging or with disabilities, here are some things I found to be my salvation. It became evident that Mother’s care needs would stretch on after rehab, and I moved closer to her retirement complex. This was located in a small…