5 golden years

my thoughts

  • thickening fog

    As it drew closer to the end of Mother’s life, the effects of her major TIA episode, along with continuing bouts with lack of oxygen became more apparent. [transient ischaemic attack (tia), occurs when there is a disruption in the blood supply to a part of the brain, resulting in a temporary period of symptoms…

  • winning the battle, part 2

    [I will share here what I have learned and what has helped me become free of Mother’s, and others spells.] The dance you are doing with the narcissist must stop. First, you must truly understand what you are trying to get rid of (explored fully in previous posts). With this understanding, you are ready to…

  • the narcissist: exorcising from your life

    Escaping and removing oneself from the narcissist is extremely difficult. While I have shared recommendations from clinical specialists; what propelled me to finally understand, become free and separate myself from Mother and others, is found in HG Tudor’s, Exorcism: Purging the Narcissist From Heart and Soul (2016), as well as his other books and youtubes…

  • the narcissist: need for fuel

    [Another in the series of narcissism where I have covered Mother’s behavior towards me, others who have lived with a diagnosed family member, clinical diagnoses per the DMS (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), thought processes, attitudes and treatment towards others, potential causes, tips for interactions.] In the words of HG Tudor, “Fuel is…

  • the narcissist: their black hole

    [I am back from my northern respite, which you can read about in my other blog here and here.] “Knowledge is power, and with each book you read, you will at last have the answers you seek and will become empowered with information you cannot obtain anywhere else” (HG Tudor) I personally believe, and have…

  • narcissism: in real life

    As with most issues in life, I do not totally agree with any one person or philosophy, but I do find it useful to gather information and insights from a variety of sources. I began looking into people with extreme selfish behaviors, actions I could not understand, after noticing the behavior of a royal family…

  • narcissism: the continuum

    We all lie somewhere along the pathway from Empath, to Normal, to Narcissist; including every conceivable gradient in between each nodule. I am starting this exposé with narcissism, working my way backwards to empath. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, ranging from displaying an occasional narcissistic trait, all the way to diagnosable pathology. Keep in mind,…

  • precursor to narcissism

    I am going to take some time to cover narcissism as it relates to my understanding of Mother’s behaviors. I have recently taken a deep dive into this area, relatively new as psychological diagnoses go. I became drawn to understanding more about narcissism as I watched events unfold across “The Pond,” where I am descendant…

  • treatment of family members

    It is important to set the stage regarding Mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) with narcissistic components. Caring for Mother the last five years of her life, I have previously covered: living in borderland, hoarding, addictive families, all about siblings, crazy making, personal tips towards recovery. Here is a sample. Causing me much confusion and distress,…

  • sabotaging happy times

    I would be remiss if I did not share happy memories from growing up. Although Mother often tried to dampen or subvert pleasurable times, I did not, and have not let her crowd out good remembrances. The happy times came about mostly due to Father’s love of celebrations, which Mother joined in and indeed reveled…