5 golden years

my thoughts

  • below the surface

    People had no idea, or simply could not understand what was going on behind the scenes as I cared for Mother. I will do my best to elaborate, but in my experience, you have to live it to get it. As she deteriorated physically and mentally, Mother should have been in assistive care, but my…

  • finding humor

    Responsible for taking her driver’s license (details in a coming blog), I felt an obligation to become a chauffeur, Mother as a front seat passenger. Known for her unique driving method which developed due to macular degeneration (ability to see only periphery), stiff neck (limiting her motion and ability to see). She prayed and went…

  • no comment

    “You got me in trouble.” This comment from Mother left me puzzled, my facial expression betraying my ‘do not respond’ self-pledge. [Any response, positive or negative provides fuel. More about fuel in coming posts.] As I rapidly searched my memory for any such occurrence, Mother continued, “You told on me and the principal called me.…

  • accepting truth

    As Mother aged, her defenses gradually let down and she started sharing her hurtful deeds. “Your Father was a genius and I didn’t know how I was going to discipline you.” Mother solved this dilemma with repeated beatings, beginning from babyhood. One such example, often retold at family gatherings, complete with giggles from others, continued…