As previously shared, I have observed and lived with the disconnect between being quoted scripture and the person’s life actions. Mother was a woman devoted to her brand of christianity, constantly quoting Scripture, moralizing to her family, friends, anybody around her.

On Mother’s behalf, her father, revived from near alcoholic induced death, became a “hell fire, horseback riding preacher,” scaring people into Heaven. As a father, he was an authoritarian, Bible quoting tyrant, demanding instant obedience. Not able to think for herself in childhood, riddled with fear of God, Mother found adult understandings difficult.

As I was caring for Mother towards the very end of her life, one day she said to me, “I got two.” Having no clue what she meant, I asked her; and she said, “I got two people saved.” I was taken aback and I said, “A person can’t save people, only through the Holy Spirit.” This of course started a vitriolic response. It had been drilled into her that “Good Christians,” got others saved. Mother was so riddled with fear, I often felt sorry for her.

My siblings and I would read Scripture about the love of Jesus, and tell her how much He loved her, but she could never get over obeying the rules, trying to be “good enough.” The incongruity of Mother’s life with her words was so blaring to me. I never understood, and still don’t, why the most religious, Bible quoting people are the most afraid to die.

As Mother’s health deteriorated and she faced the end of life, she was not ready to die. I witnessed several times her verbally arguing with God, saying she was not going to die yet. It was disconcerting, my siblings could not handle it, but I knew she was in the spiritual realm, blackness descending, as I was praying Light. The nurses and doctor were a little taken back, wanting to send her to the psychiatric ward, but I was able to convince them Mother was experiencing the spiritual realm.

In an attempt to stop Mother from the dark side creeping down, I shared with her my near death experiences, in which I saw and was drawn to the indescribable beautiful light and peace; but was called back to this earthly plane by medical staff. Mother’s response floored me when she replied, “That was just evil in disguise.” I briefly considered, but remained adamant I had seen the “other side,” and there was no reason to fear this earthly death.

Damage Done
The damage done in the name of Christianity, indeed religion in general, breaks my heart. Not only have I watched it break up families and friends, I watch it break up communities, all the way up to international relationships.

I have read multiple well-known and respected theologians including: C.S. Lewis, Oswald Chambers, Francis Shaffer, George MacDonald, GK Chesterton, Charles Williams, Ravi Zacharias, etc. Their writings express my thoughts much more eloquently, writings from which I now share.

Christianity, in many instances, has devolved into religiosity, following man-made rules, becoming cult like, based on, and perpetuated by fear and guilt. Misinterpretation of Scripture evolved into firm traditional beliefs that misrepresent God. These traditions that misrepresent Him, need to be exposed, broken up, and expunged.

We are seeing the church become commercialized, basing success on other human institutional standards, with the primary aim focusing on growing bigger and bigger, bragging about having more followers and saving souls. Leaders, rejoicing in success, lose perspective, and are apt to become irritating dictators, proselytizing disciples and followers, dictating meetings and their congregant’s behaviors.

I find it so sad that there are many of my generation and subsequent ones who are so disillusioned by established church orthodoxy with its many rules to follow in order to be accepted as part of a particular religious congregation. This is cult like, which much of christianity has become, whether part of an established denomination, or large non-denominational congregation, gatherings that have been springing up like wildfires, trapping people in their own system of rules to follow. Scripture is often quoted out of context and the underlying history, lessons for life, and beauty of the Scriptures fading.