5 golden years

my thoughts

My Thoughts

My sincere thanks for your support as I continue sharing in the hopes that others will benefit from my experiences and insights.

[Covered: Accepting Truth; Finding Humor; In the Beginning; Anatomy of a Hoarder; Disassociating; The Why of It; Grieving; Aspects of Addictive Families; Borderline Personality Disorder; Narcissism; Mother’s Backstory; Living in Borderland; Crazymaking; Siblings; Birth Order; Treatment of Family Members; Running Interference; Religiosity; Spiritual Journey; Living Backwards; End of Life Planning; Sorrow and Hope; Eulogy; Epilogue]

  • hope: a two-edged sword (addendum #1)

    Hope believes in the eventual triumph of goodness. In the words of Alexander Pope, hope springs eternal in hearts, even in the face of adversity  (An Essay on Man). Hope is: – a feeling of expectation and desire for something beneficial to happen in the future; trusting in, waiting and looking for something or someone– Read more

  • epilogue

    I’ve been putting this off for a while. Today being Thanksgiving, I am taking a stab at it. One of my Mother’s friends I got to know, at 103 years of age, let me know she was, “Still learning.” At which I gasped, “Really, it never ends? I need a break.” Well, I have had Read more

  • sorrow and hope, with an eulogy for mother

    As I previously shared, towards the end of my five years caring for Mother, with little help and often downright antagonism from my siblings, pleading for assistance (release some of her finances or move to assisted living), continually ignored, I followed sage advice, “You will lose yourself if you don’t get out.” After telling my Read more

  • planning for the end

    It fell to me to initiate, explore, coordinate and complete Mother’s end of life plans. None of this was easy. In fact, it was quite stressful, but it had to be done, and I am the sibling that always took care of crises. Her primary care nurse-practioner was particularly helpful, discussing options with Mother and Read more

  • living backwards

    While plowing forwards, I came across the concept of “living backwards” (C.A. Lawson, 2000). Pausing to think this through, I am reminded of an analogy I often share with my clients, “Emotional healing is just like physical healing from a deep wound. Scabs form, fall off, smaller scabs form and fall off, the process continuing Read more

  • my spiritual journey

    I found it difficult to shake the religious legalism Mother feverishly attempted to ingrain in her children. The incongruity of severe, man-made rules imposed, while preaching about the love of Jesus still perplexes me. In family pictures of us growing up, we all look so sad, to the point that tears come to my eyes, Read more