My Thoughts
My sincere thanks for your support as I continue sharing in the hopes that others will benefit from my experiences and insights.
[Covered: Accepting Truth; Finding Humor; In the Beginning; Anatomy of a Hoarder; Disassociating; The Why of It; Grieving; Aspects of Addictive Families; Borderline Personality Disorder; Narcissism; Mother’s Backstory; Living in Borderland; Crazymaking; Siblings; Birth Order; Treatment of Family Members; Running Interference; Religiosity; Spiritual Journey; Living Backwards; End of Life Planning; Sorrow and Hope; Eulogy; Epilogue]
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dissociating
Where do I start? Throughout my childhood I was just surviving, not attempting to make sense of what Mother was doing or why was she doing it. With all of the physical and verbal abuse, I quickly learned to distance myself, dissociate, although I was not able to label it as such until as an Read more
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hoarding: a psychological perspective
First, let me say, I found it very sad and pathetic; her whole life, Mother stressed over getting organized, but accepted no help, nor self-reflecting as to the causes. Several years before my moving to care for Mother, I attended a week-end seminar to gain more understanding, finding hoarding is one of the most difficult Read more
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anatomy of a hoarder
Nature abhors a vacuum (Aristotle), and we all find ways to fill emptiness in our lives and in our souls. It can become a constant battle, especially for those living with hoarders. When it became clear that Mother could not live alone (convincing her of this is another subject). It fell to me to clear Read more
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something’s wrong
In the words of my sister, “Growing up I knew something was wrong, I didn’t know what, but I got out of there as soon as I could.” She was smart and went away to college. Me, not so much. Going through Mother’s pathological hoarding (details in another blog), I found family photos from our Read more
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grieving
The subject of grieving is multi-faceted. For clarity, I start by defining grieving, followed by the process of grieving (historically as well as current thinking), ending with my experiences. Grieving is the response to life changes (positive or negative), demonstrated by manifesting annoyance, distress or sorrow. Some examples that apply here: loss of physical ability, Read more
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lifesavers
In the hopes that you may benefit from my experiences as you care for others aging or with disabilities, here are some things I found to be my salvation. It became evident that Mother’s care needs would stretch on after rehab, and I moved closer to her retirement complex. This was located in a small Read more
5 golden years 