My Thoughts
My sincere thanks for your support as I continue sharing in the hopes that others will benefit from my experiences and insights.
[Covered: Accepting Truth; Finding Humor; In the Beginning; Anatomy of a Hoarder; Disassociating; The Why of It; Grieving; Aspects of Addictive Families; Borderline Personality Disorder; Narcissism; Mother’s Backstory; Living in Borderland; Crazymaking; Siblings; Birth Order; Treatment of Family Members; Running Interference; Religiosity; Spiritual Journey; Living Backwards; End of Life Planning; Sorrow and Hope; Eulogy; Epilogue]
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below the surface
People had no idea, or simply could not understand what was going on behind the scenes as I cared for Mother. I will do my best to elaborate, but in my experience, you have to live it to get it. As she deteriorated physically and mentally, Mother should have been in assistive care, but my… Read more
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in the beginning
Mother never forgave me for my birth ruining her Christmas. That is how I made sense of her treatment as I share in the following few paragraphs extracted from my story, as told by me. SONG OF THE AGES Prologue “For unto you is born this day in the city of,” and there the similarity… Read more
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driver’s license
Mother obtained her first driver’s license in her mid-forties, after her children chauffeurs had left her nest. Father, twelve years older, had sustained a series of heart attacks with continuing ill health. Abhorring stasis, mother hit the road. Limited neck mobility and vision in only one eye (due to macular degeneration), contributed to Mother’s unique… Read more
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finding humor
Responsible for taking her driver’s license (details in a coming blog), I felt an obligation to become a chauffeur, Mother as a front seat passenger. Known for her unique driving method which developed due to macular degeneration (ability to see only periphery), stiff neck (limiting her motion and ability to see). She prayed and went… Read more
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no comment
“You got me in trouble.” This comment from Mother left me puzzled, my facial expression betraying my ‘do not respond’ self-pledge. [Any response, positive or negative provides fuel. More about fuel in coming posts.] As I rapidly searched my memory for any such occurrence, Mother continued, “You told on me and the principal called me.… Read more
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accepting truth
As Mother aged, her defenses gradually let down and she started sharing her hurtful deeds. “Your Father was a genius and I didn’t know how I was going to discipline you.” Mother solved this dilemma with repeated beatings, beginning from babyhood. One such example, often retold at family gatherings, complete with giggles from others, continued… Read more
5 golden years 